It’s very safe to say, that I still get super nervous before my long runs, and I’m glad I’m not the only one who feels like that. I’ve just started to increase my miles, since my injury, and a few weeks ago, i ran my longest run – 8 miles. A huge step in the right direction, but also filled with anxiety, dread and fear. Fear that I’ll feel that pain again, the tightness and uncomfortableness, and reach a point where I’ll have to call it quits.
I started out by telling myself I’ll run 4 miles. If I manage that and don’t want to do anymore, I won’t. If I have to stop before then, I’ll listen to my body, and do so. It was a beautiful sunny, warm day and I started off at a good pace. It felt comfortable and as the miles climbed, the anxiety, stress and worry started to fade away. I concentrated on my next 2 miles, and when I hit 6, I felt positive and strong to reach 8. As I neared the end of my final mile, and my house, a smile erupted on my face. I felt relaxed, strong and proud of myself for getting out and conquering this fear. Fear that I will fail.
This is why I run…To de-stress, release a build up of anxiety, think, face that fear, sometimes cry, but also because it’s something I truly love doing and have a humongous passion for. Every run, I learn something new. That I am stronger, and damn capable, of more than I think. Yes, there are going to be those bad runs, but there are also going to be great ones. I may have run a half marathon and everything may seem fine and dandy on social media, but a lot of the time it’s not.
I’m very hard on myself but I’ve come to be more accepting of the bad runs and at the end of the day, it really doesn’t matter! I’m not going to let a spreadsheet rule me. Right now, I’m enjoying getting back into them before my training starts again in a few weeks, for the Oxford Half.
Your mind is strong, but you are stronger. Put aside those doubts, concerns and worries and just run. Whether it be with someone, a group or on your own. The support I have from friends, on social media and around me, is what I’m so grateful for. I’m super, super thankful for Charlie, who joined me for my second long run on Friday. I definitely wasn’t feeling our 5 miles together and my legs were tired. She said, whether it’s 1 mile or 5, we will do what we want. That reassurance/support, was definitely what I needed!
I hope you’re all having a wonderful weekend, good luck with all your runs and please stay safe ❤️ All my love,